


If you're missing pieces | Never really know

by PaperWarriorQueen



Series: All your moving parts [1]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Manipulation, Missing Scene, Not Beta Read, Phil Watson Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Phil Watson Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Songfic, Villain Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), We die like Jack Manifold, Winged Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), somewhat canon compliant, tommy's exile arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:36:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28616700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaperWarriorQueen/pseuds/PaperWarriorQueen
Summary: Missing scenes from the exile arc.Phil is not so bad as a father. But he thinks otherwise.
Series: All your moving parts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2096928
Kudos: 37





	If you're missing pieces | Never really know

**Author's Note:**

> I am maybe a little bit late because Doomsday and Festival happened, but... nah
> 
> English is not my first language, so there will be mistakes. Comments are appreciated.
> 
> Not my first work, but first posted here.
> 
> The title is from Moving Parts by Trixie Matell

Phil should have been smarter than this. He should never believe the man, who already has broken one of his sons. But... But somehow, he fell for it.

He wasn’t here on the day of exile. Like he wasn’t there when Wilbur snapped, when he fell into the Dream’s mind trap, when the Festival happened and Tommy was damaged, or when… He was feeling guilt. He never got back to the thought of why he missed the day of exile. He never pinpointed the moment, just the day before it, when Dream took him to a not-so-distant forest to check up on his **wings**. He, of course, could travel back in time, but every time this procedure was so painful not only physically, but mentally, that he just stayed in the forest for few days, shivering and trying to calm down. And when he finally reached L’Manburg he was **late** _._ Tommy was exiled and Tubbo was shattered. And he could not do anything about it.

  


He finally gained the courage to visit Tommy. He spent some time in the forge to make a gist. Not big, just a small pair of boots. _Slippers_. Something that a good father should give to his kid. He felt the guilt in his throat all the way down to the nether and to the Logstershir.

Tommy was happy to see him, he also was very happy about the gift... He also gave him one of the techno’s emerald, just... just in case. Tommy was not too salty about it, he just said that he could use some friends. This phrase hurt Phil a little bit too much. But somehow Phil did not pay enough attention to the fact, that his son “seeing things”. And that Dream was so consistent in denying Tubbo’s presence. It slipped through his mind, while Ghostbur was showing him around. He didn’t mean to ignore Tommy, he didn’t… Just boy ran away, with Dream and looked like he didn’t want more company. It hurt. It really did. But Phil left, but there were Ghostbur and… _Dream._

And then, in the morning, he was visited by Dream. _Sorry,_ he said, _I know that snitching is bad, but I think you should see this._ And there were the boots, the _slippers,_ all burned up and broke, and he didn’t believe. In fact, he believed. But the wrong guy. _He just snapped. Snapped, just like Will, he was angry at you and screamed that he didn’t want to see you ever again. I think… It will be better for you to give him time to cool down. I am not sure that you can bear killing another son._ It was manipulation -so obvious and straight, but Phil **fell.** He never got over the Wilbur and… And he can’t just lose Tommy. Maybe he will be better alone, without him. Maybe he was just a terrible father.

  


He heard about the beach party. He would be glad to show up. But he never got an invite. It made sense – Tommy hated him now, as it seemed. And even if he doesn’t – who would like to see his dad at a party? So, he never visited, just sent a message. He didn’t intend to imply anything with it, he was feeling bad on its own, but somehow it came out passive-aggressive. Tommy never replied. Guilt grew stronger. Even if Tommy didn’t hate him before – he should be pissed now. Good parents do not guilt trip their kids for wanting a young party. Apparently, Phil is now less of it.

It didn’t help that Ghostbur disappeared, and no one got the invites. Something was fishy, very fishy. Phil knew it, he could smell it even through all the layers of guilt. One of his sons exiled and didn’t want anyone nearby. Other is dead, ghost and now missing. Tubbo, who is just like the son for him, slowly shattering down, clinging to his Office. He is so afraid of ghostly horns, that could appear one day, that he ignored the chains, that already were here. Phil should talk to him, he knew it. But it seems like Tubbo is never alone. It’s always Quackity or Fundy nearby. And Phil can’t open up in front of them. Not in front of the man with horns on his heart.

So he’s been running away. Every few days, he would grab the warm coat and go to the tundra, to find Technoblade and _relax._ At least for a few hours. It was not working every time. Sometimes he ended up on the couch, curled up and… not crying, because he cannot cry in front of someone, but shivering and mumbling under his breath. _Am I a good father? Am I the bad one? I fucked up – I know. But can I still fix it? Can I, Technoblade?_ Techno is not his son. He is a friend. But Phil could never ignore the age gap, the similar age to the Will, the small moments of other’s insecurity… He was a friend, yes, but so close. That he could be a part of the family. The family that was broken apart, shattered, like a jigsaw with missing pieces. **Beyond repair.**

Techno was here, for all these moments of weakness. He never said anything, just keep his hand on the older one’s shoulder and sometimes give him a small pat. It was small, but Phil knew Techno too much to not get it – it was the closest to affection that the “Blood God” could do. And Phil was grateful.

  


If Phil was thinking about his family being beyond repair before, it was always with a slight glimpse of hope. Maybe he could do something, maybe it was not over… But now this hope was destroyed. Dream visited him at night, just appeared on his doorstep. _Phil, I am so, so sorry._ He could stop his speech here– Phil understood. Phil understood, that everything is over. _He went mad. Blow up everything, and then jump off the tower. I am sorry._ Phil was suffocating with pain, fear, and **guilt _._** It was his fault, he knew it. If he had been there if he had visited Tommy more if he had been paying more attention to his son.. **to his sons.** And Dream was here, watching how the father broke into pieces. And in the pain, like this Phil didn’t catch the most obvious manipulation. _It rough for you, I know. Don’t blame yourself for your other son’s death. You didn’t kill him this time._ In no world, it would be anything but a stab in the guts, anything but mockery. _He just went mad, probably from loneliness. No one visited him, so… Maybe family thing._ Phil swallowed it, not snapping back. He asked Dream for space, asked him to leave. _Begged him to leave._ And when he was alone, he finally let himself cry. He **is** a terrible father. 


End file.
